Tag Archive: metabolism


Hmm…concerning…

I don’t know where else to write about this, so I figure here is good.

I have a friend, who I really care about. She is on the weight loss journey too. I am concerned with how often she starves herself, or shall I say, more correctly, restricts her calories too much.

I often see that her daily calories are anywhere between just over 500 or around 900 and mostly always under 1200.

1200 calories is the lowest recommended calorie intake and there is good reason for that. So I have learned myself from experience. It puts your body into starvation mode and screws with your metabolism. And then, due to the effects of this, people get into a vicious and unhealthy cycle with their diet. It pretty much goes like this. You eat too little, your body goes into starvation mode, your body holds onto your fat stores for dear life, your metabolism slows significantly and though, at first the weight comes off fast, once you resume more sensible eating the weight speeds back on, due to your slowed metabolism and your body taking measures to make the most of every bit of food, being it doesn’t know when it’ll get fueled/fed again. Thus why it’s called starvation mode. Then, again the vicious cycle starts of binging or starving or both.

So yeah, knowing all this, I get rather concerned when I see the low calorie intake. I know all this for fact and from experience. As, last year some time, I was doing the same thing. But only for a few weeks. Though I’m not excusing it as ok, just because I only did it briefly. I know it’s not ok and advise against it. I will never do that crap again! And though I only did it for a short time, it was enough to stuff my metabolism up for a good 3 1/2 weeks. But it did teach me a valuable lesson.

All I can do, is stand back, feeling concerned and watch. Which makes me sad. As I so want to help. I have done what I can. I have expressed my concern and regularly remind her I am watching her food diary.

I have also told her, I do understand her motivation and desperation. Cause yeah, weight loss isn’t always an easy, nor fun journey and yeah, it is hard accepting being temporarily heavier. But, what should be acknowledged is that you know it’s temporary and the weight will come off, but you need to be patient. And the weight lost so far should be acknowledged, as that is a great achievement and you should be proud you cared enough about yourself and your health to start the journey, as some people just never bother to start and miss out on an improved, healthier life. And yes, I know that is easier said then done. I get it! I have been trying to get to my goal weight for over 2 years.

I have to keep reminding myself, that, though I’m not done yet, I have done SO well and I have lost a lot of weight and I do look better, feel healthier and am more confident as a result. And I can actually look at myself in the mirror and feel proud, rather then ashamed.

Anyway, that’s my little vent. I love my friend and I just wish she could be healthy about her weight loss.

So what seems to happen with me is. I’ll get to my lowest weight of 58kgs, but never seem to be able to shift the scales to a lower number. So it’s like, I unintentionally self sabotage and seem to reward myself my eating too much or punish myself by going fuck it, I’m over it. Then, I end up gaining a few kgs. Then as a result, feeling crap and down on myself. And my eating, seems to go between, either lots of over-eating or under eating. Which seems to be fucking up my metabolism. So, since my body clearly doesn’t know, what to expect from one week to the next, it’s all out of whack.

When I’m eating too little, my body adjusts my really slowing my metabolism and then as a result of me eating either normally or over eating, I gain weight really fast.

I just get into a really bad habit of either drastically cutting my calories or sabotaging my weight loss by over-eating.

And when my moods are shit, that’s reflects on the scales and in my diet too. Generally being, I eat emotionally, which always consists of over-eating and eating the wrong things. And, when I get bored, due to lack of good weather, meaning lack of exercise, I eat too.

But, I seem to fuck things up, when the weather is good, by eating less, as for some reason I think faster weight loss and don’t have energy to exercise, as I’m eating too little.

ARGH!!! It’s SO frustrating!!! But really, when I sit back and take a long hard look at myself and assess the situation, I come to the realization, that I’m the only one to blame for all of this. And I need to take some responsibility for my actions and therefore change them.

So, what I really need to do, is force myself, to try and never go below 1200 cals. As, if I do, I’m just screwing things up for myself and my body will never sort it’s shit out and my metabolism will never be doing it’s proper job. And, I need to be more consistent with my exercise.

I tend to lose motivation, when I lack energy and when my moods are crap and it takes a lot of energy to get back on the right track. As, not changing is way easier then changing. And, in case you don’t know, I don’t like change, even if I’ll benefit. It mainly comes down to my lack of energy. When that lacks, I don’t do shit.

Here’s hoping, I can turn over a new leaf and at least get my diet sorted and then hopefully up my exercise.

Now I look back, I think going for the Protein Shakes as an attempt to lose weight, wasn’t such a good plan. As, since I’ve been having them, I’ve become very obsessed with my calorie intake and not been eating/consuming enough.

I admit, I’m obsessed/caught up with the number on the scales, as an indicator of my weight loss or gain. Which is something I really need to work on getting over. As, there are so many reasons why the numbers go up and down and I never rationally consider this and just get all emotional and pissed off, when I’m not being told what I want by the scale. I need to try just work by measurements and the way my clothes fit and not worry about the scales. Easier said then done of course.

Forgot to add, I’ve run out of my happy pills(the natural tablets I’ve been taking) so I’m a bit of a moody grump lately.

This picture shows how I feel about it all right now, including how I feel about the scales.

PND/Depression, whichever it is

I don’t know what to class what I have is. As, is it still related to postnatal reaction after having a baby or is it just regular depression?… I don’t know.

Whichever it is, it sux!

So, I went to the doctor today and chatted about how I feel and yay, I got a doctor who listened to my wants and needs this time. Thank goodness! So they are going to try me on a different anti-d. It’s called Venlafaxine. It’s apparently quite good for people who don’t gel too well with the usual meds. So I’ll start on 1 tablet for 2 wks, then go up to 2 and then see how I feel after that and up it, if I need some more. I also talked to the doctor about the money side of visiting the doctor, somewhat regularly. Apparently there’s some funding coming up(hasn’t come into affect yet, so still have to pay for today’s appointment. $46!!!) it’s called S.I.A. So next visit, I should be able to use that to pay for appointment.

Not seeing my counsellor for over a month probably hasn’t helped much. But he’s away til mid-July. Also, WINZ funding stopped for that, so have to get counsellor to fill out an application for some more, before I can start going again.

Didn’t know this before today, but depression can cause your metabolic rate to slow. Thus being why, though I am eating well, I am losing zero weight. As, doctor said, at last check up, my thyroid levels weren’t that bad. So this moodiness and crap, has been depression related, not thyroid related. Lovely. The reason metabolic rate slows down during depression is that when you body isn’t functioning as it is, other parts of your body stop working as effectively. Good to know it’s not my fault for no weight loss. It was really pissing me off. It’s like, argh, I am eating healthy, exercising once a week(slack I know!) and my weight is just not moving!

So it seemed like, in April, I stopped the meds, things got better and were good for just over a month. Then moods went up and down, though, I was still having some good days. And then over the last month and a bit, my mood has just gone downhill. Lately, it has been between these moods: Anger, anxiety, depression and irritability. So, lately, it’s been anger big time and anxiety big time. Then, getting all emotional and crying for no reason. Today, I have spent much of the day crying. I was crying just driving to the doctor. Thinking about talking to her about my feeling, was making me cry. Oh, what a mess I have been. I really, really, really miss my family. Oh and Braiden’s family, well they are just wankers! Ok, to be fair, his sister and parents are wankers, the rest of them are ok. I hate their lack of support, how shit they are as grandparents, considering they were dying for a granddaughter and their narcissistic personalities! Oh, and they totally treat Sophie like an inconvenience and that totally hurts and angers me! She’s a sweetie and she craves love and affection(bit like her Mummy)

With my moodiness(anger) I’ve been going off the handle at everyone in my house, very regularly. Braiden has no idea why. He keep asking why am I so pissed off all the time. And I have no answer for him. Sophie, probably feels rejected and like she can’t do anything right(though this is not the case) and Annabelle is probably wondering what is going on. And damn, even the Missy(our cat) is scared of me! When I start yelling, she starts meowing and wanting outside. Sometimes during my tantrums, I throw things, though not at anyone. I just want to let all this anger out and break things. I’m just so angry! And why? I don’t know. Why am I so angry? What do I have to be so angered about? …though in asking those questions, I think some of it is lack of support from Braiden’s wankers of parents and the fact that some people in my life are self-involved, self-serving and selfish and I’m over them being like this! Damn, what money does to some people, that’s all I’m going to say. And just as a disclaimer, I don’t have this attitude about all well-off people. There are many decent and down-to-earth well-off people in the world.

So, I hope this new lot of anti-d’s work a treat and I can start feel happier soon. I’m over these mood swings! And I’m sure, so is everyone else in my house.

Thankx for reading my lovely followers. It’s good to know you care and mostly understand.