Tag Archive: melancholy

A brief history of Melancholy

So, what have I been upto lately. I mean that’s a good question, simply because I’m so forgetful, half the time I can’t answer that question! Man, I want my memory back!

I’m really tired today. Don’t know why, as Annabelle slept from bedtime last night til morning. Probably is because one of our cats kept waking me up. I was feeling like I could so easily just fall asleep at the parenting course I went to this morning.

Sophie, hmm, I love her. But I have moments when she is being super naughty and defiant that make me wish I only had 1 child. I’ll get thinks sorted one day. This parenting course I just started should help. Plus she’s going to go to a health camp at some point, which are really good for helping sort things out. Braiden’s needs to step up and start being a decent parent to Sophie. I get she’s not his, but he used to be fine with her before her behaviour went downhill and he got much, much worse after Annabelle came along. Though having to have a severely depressed partner mustn’t have been easy. And then there is financial stress. I can’t even start to understand how things feel as a step parent. But still, sux he has changed, for the worse. I feel quite resentful towards him sometimes when he’s being a jerk to Sophie. I know she’s not easy and she’s hard work, but rejecting her just makes matters worse!

I hate it when Braiden gets pissed off at me and won’t talk to me, respond or anything. Especially when he doesn’t have a valid reason and he’s just sulking! Hate the way him doing that makes me feel! Why do men have to suck so much with communication! And why are the only affectionate when they want, you know what?! Friggen brains in their pants!

I still feel like, though I know some new people, I don’t really, really have many friends. But I get new friendships don’t just happen and gaining a real friendship takes a lot of work.

I got rather frustrated with my hair a few weeks ago and was sick of it looking untidy, so cut it, myself. It looks ok though, thank goodness!

Oh and all these natural disasters. ARGH!!! So scary! It just makes you think, when is it our turn?… And what they hell would we do?! As we only have some water and 3 cans and that’s not a real survival kit!

Gosh, sometimes I really feel like my days are so repetitive. You know, same shit different day. Like some parts of the day change, but mostly it’s the same. It’s such a boring existence. Like I feel like something needs to change but I don’t know what it is.

I dunno, it just seems like something is just not been right since getting PND all those months ago. Or maybe something is missing.

I guess I feel a bit nonchalant and a tad melancholy at times.

Ok, so stuck for what to write about. So I’m off to find something else to do.