Charge is essential, yes. But change is also scary.

I’ll admit it, I to some degree don’t like change and yes, I’m guilty of resisting some change, even if it is for the better.

I find I am even more resistant to change if I am going through one of my periods of depression. I find that some of the statements that go through my head in this time of resistance are things like “why should I change?” “but I don’t want to change” “I am comfortable with just staying the same, even if change is good” “oh, I just can’t be bothered” “why should I change, because someone suggested it?” and the main one “it’s just too hard”

Yeah, pretty much me making excuses not to change. As change is hard and uncomfortable at times. And it does seem easier to stay the same. But, fact is, that doesn’t help. Neither does being stubborn and defending my choice or justifying the behaviour I need to change.

I have been working with a lady in the mental health sector who is trying to encourage some change. And because of how she words things, I get all defensive about it and get shitty at the prospect of doing as she suggests. To be fair, it seems I’m being a bit of a child about it. I mean, just because she can’t word it in a way that I would accept, doesn’t mean I should dismiss it.

When I’m depressed I just lose motivation and I am honestly, the most resistant to change at these times. As I’m just trying to get through the days and find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Boredom is a big factor in my depression and too much of the same old, same old crap day in, day out. I end up feeling very dissatisfied with life and just end up feel very blurgh.

I do try and find stuff to do when I’m bored. But I do get a bit over it, if it is simply being in my own company all the time. As, there are times when solitude is bliss and times when it’s the last thing I want. And believe me, I do put in an effort to see people and if they are unavailable, I do make a lot of effort to find new people to meet. So it’s not that I lack at trying.

I feel, when I am not depressed, I am more open to change. But taking the steps to change, I am a bit slack there. It is very challenging some of the areas I am being asked to change in, even if, yes, there is a benefit and I do see why these changes would be fruitful. They just appear to be parts of me I have accepted as part of me and my personality, so I justify the behaviours and defend them endlessly, before I even consider changing them. I have had these traits for at least half of my life and it is a big ask to change them. So yes, I am guilty of trying to throw them in the too hard basket.

Question is, am I the only one guilty of this? I do suspect, no. As humans are known for not liking change.

I guess it depends on the change and it’s impact and how big it is. As, if it’s a change you can see an instant benefit to, you are more likely to make the change a.s.a.p. Like, say, moving house, as the new house may have many exciting prospects. Or trying something new, as it’s exciting. We are, a lot of us, about instant gratification. And don’t the advertising world know that and play on that?! LOL!

Gosh, I hope this all makes sense. I mean, of course to me it does, as it’s from my perspective. I hope others can see what I am trying to say here.

By the way, regarding any of my blog entries, I am happy to have feedback via the comments section. And am happy to respond. As it always good to see what others think of subjects they relate to.