Tag Archive: dialectal behavioural therapy

So I don’t know if what I’m going to write is something I have written about before. The downside to having a crap short term memory. But anyway, I will write about it either way. As it is on my mind a lot.

I personally do not want my suffering to be for nothing. So, no matter how unpleasant, how uncomfortable, how scary, how unfair and how horrible this journey has been or is, regarding my mental health. I will always try to turn it into something positive, useful and purposeful. So that way my suffering has a purpose.

I will always be honest and open about my suffering and not be ashamed of it. I will always share my experience and blog about it. As I want others to know the real me, I want others who are suffering to know they are not alone in their suffering and I want to encourage others to share and be open about their suffering, if they feel they can be. And I want to help give others the strength to reach out, ask for help, hopefully inspire others and help reduce the stigma of mental illness, as well as any shame felt.

So, even though at times I may feel broken, no matter what, this journey will not break me.

Now I want to touch on a really good DBT(dialectal behavioural therapy) technique called ‘Radical Acceptance’. It is a technique I learnt about last year some time, but have only really put it into practice since mid-December. And more so lately.

Radical Acceptance, as I would describe it is, accepting your reality, feelings and emotions, no matter how unpleasant those feelings and experiences are. It’s about saying to yourself “hey, this feeling, situation or emotion might suck and may be unfair, but I will accept that this is where I am at and how I feel and that’s ok. And I don’t have to like what this feels like and that is ok too.”

Using this technique has been a life saver, literally and has helped me get through everything I have been through since August last year.

And another part of DBT is accepting your emotions and letting them come and sit with you and eventually pass. As emotions ARE healthy and are definitely necessary. I believe this technique is referred to in DBT as ‘Emotional Regulation’.

I found this website, which covers the DBT techniques and explains them more: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_lessons.html

‘Distress Tolerance’ is another DBT technique that I know a small amount about and will being learning more about in the next 5 weeks. As I am attending a DBT based Resiliency course through Lower Hutt Community Mental Health, that goes for 6 weeks and covers the technique of ‘Distress Tolerance’. Last week was the 1st week of this course.

I definitely acknowledge my need for one to one therapy though. As it is really difficult having been through what I have been through and am going through without having any therapy at all. And I really do need something that is just for me and about me, where I can go and be totally honest and start to work through things. This reality was making me feel quite upset last night and I was crying for some time about it. As I desperately need some therapy. And I definitely do feel frustrated that only half the fix has been addressed. That being the chemical imbalance component, which is managed with antidepressants.

Pretty sure that’s all I had on my mind to share today. If not, I’ll come back and write another post.

Good news

Right, so I decided to be really honest about some stuff on my Facebook profile. About how I am aware that sometimes people can take my quietness and antisocial behavior the wrong way. And how that can be misinterpreted by some as me being rude, snobby, antisocial and that in fact I am not being any of those thing’s on purpose. But if I am acting that way, it’s because I am feeling highly anxious and not doing so well with my mental health.

I also said that sometimes I don’t ask for help and support, because I have been let down in the past when I have asked for those thing’s. And also, sometimes I may put on a front of being more OK then I am, because I don’t like that I’m still suffering and it’s hard to admit that I still am.

Well, clearly that admission, feeling listened to and taken seriously by CATT(crisis assessment treatment team) and Lower Hutt CMH(community mental health) and knowing I’ll be starting a 6 week DBT(dialectal behavioural therapy) group this Wednesday, has been a big positive.

As since I wrote that last week, my mood has been really good.

Also, I have been feeling really good about my bond with my baby boy and I have a strong desire to fight to be able to be around my 2 youngest kids unsupervised, at the CYFS(child, youth and family) FGC(family group conference) 3 month review next month.

So I will be discussing this desire with all the professionals I am involved with, so they can advocate and support me in this.

I will also be bringing up the FGC plans negative effects on my 4 year old, how hard all this has been on her. Especially the not having her older sister living with us. And the negative effects of all this on my mental health. And I will be expressing my desire to have my oldest daughter back with me full time.

All these big decisions are making me feel really motivated and positive.

My oldest daughter spent 4 1/2 hours over here yesterday, which was awesome. Her little sister loved it too. And I made them both some bracelets.

The hard bit though, was how distraught my younger daughter got when her sister had to leave. She was extremely upset for nearly an hour afterwards. And as you could imagine, that tears me up inside.

I am feeling really happy my mood has improved. Finally I am getting a break from all the suffering.