Tag Archive: conflict


Things are not much fun at the moment. Today my oldest daughter is in quite a provoking mood. She is going overboard with pushing the limits. She is being really disrespectful and rude to her step-dad and comparing him to her ex carers and basically telling him he’s a terrible parent and her unhappiness is all his fault. So I urge her to stop being so nasty and warn her if she keeps being horrible and slamming the door continually then I will take her laptop off her. So then she starts on me and starts accusing me of hating her and everyone in the house hating her. I told her that is definitely not true and we all love her. So then she starts threatening to tell ‘everyone’ that I hate her. Her step-dad eventually finds this continous attacking too much and disappears downstairs. Which, granted he is going down to calm down.  But I end up left to deal with her mood and I feel quite unsupported.

She keeps on about how her ex carers are better parents. I ask her why it is she would never give them this disrespect, yet thinks it is ok to show us disrespect. She didn’t answer.

So then in comes to bedtime for her and her sister and she starts being mean to her. I tell her what she is doing is bullying and that she doesn’t like it if people do it to her, so why would you think it is ok to do to your sister? Her reason was, because she was being annoying.

Honestly, it feels like a battlefield at home sometimes.

It is so emotionally and physically draining.

I really don’t know what to do.

I do not like how I have no mental health services in my life. That makes tough times so much harder.

I am nervous about the upcoming FGC review. I have no idea how it will go and that is hard to cope with.

I hope it is not another of the 2 sides against each other crap again. And ending up feeling persecuted as parents.

Braiden(my husband, wants to make thing’s work with Sophie(my oldest daughter) and he wants thing’s to improve.  But she has no faith in him. Which really sucks. As he tries and she throws it back in his face.

And I feel removing her from our home will make their relationship worse, not better. As there isn’t that time dedicated to working through thing’s if she is in another city. As she basically thinks, move to Wellington, problem solved.

Oh this is so hard.

I have been feeling very low and tearful increasingly so in the last week. And my anxiety is increasing a lot.

I better try get to sleep. As I have no been getting enough sleep lately.

Thank you for reading.

So I have been experiencing some of that lately. At first I thought, maybe I was being paranoid about some posts that seemed aimed at me, but without the person naming me. But then once I came to release this now ex-friend was actually judging me and insulting me and was clearly no longer a friend, I decided to delete and block her.

And then, I can only assume, after she realized she was blocked and deleted, that nasty text messages started. And I did not bite back or lower myself to her level. But simply replied politely and explained I deleted her as it was clear to me she was no longer interested in being my friend.

So in comes rolling, nasty, judgmental, slandering and even threatening texts. And that was upsetting and intimidating enough.

But then, a friend of mine informs me that this female has been saying even more extreme stuff, in the form of lies and vicious rumours on a Facebook group I am not in. This female even named me and what street I live in!

So after reading what had been written about me, it became evident that I was not being paranoid at all and the posts I thought were directed at me all were.

She even mentioned my dealings with CYFS(child, youth & family) in this group and that my oldest daughter is not in my care!

This is not a very nice feeling! I just want to get out of this suburb asap or be invisible for the next 2 weeks.

Clearly this stuff is getting to me, as, in my dream a few nights ago I dreamt I somehow managed to move my moving date forward by 2 weeks.

Because of this nastiness and the threat in her text, I no longer want to go anywhere in this suburb and I do not want to take my kids to childcare, as her son’s go there and I want to avoid her and her family. As I hate conflict, intimidation and confrontations. And I worry some person might assault me or something.

I have never been so viciously lied about and gossiped about and judged by a person and their family. It hurts.

My fiance said he could tell from the moment he met her, that she was like this. The type of person to become your friend, find out private things about you and then turn around and use it against you.

Man, I wish I wasn’t so trusting and always giving people a chance.

31st July 2012

Yeah, that’s what happens when you run out of interesting titles for blog entries.  You just go with the date  🙂

 

So, yesterday was a bit of a crap day.  I was visiting a friend and my toddler hit her 10 month old with a toy while I was out of the room.  And yeah, I acknowledge that is not cool.  But also, it’s not cool for 2 people to start attacking me as a parent and to insult my parenting and my child.  Comparing her to other children.  Insinuating that she has issues and anger problems.  She is actually a nice little girl and by no stretch of imagination, does she have issues.  She just has zero experience with babies.  And yeah, that’s not an excuse, but it is fact.  If I had been in the room and saw it potentially heading that way, I’d have told her no and explained why we don’t hit babies.  But unfortunately I was not in the room.

 

I was very upset with being attacked and having my daughter insulted.  I’d have thought parents would have more tact, then to insult another parent and their child.  I wanted to just get up and leave, as I don’t like conflict.  But then I felt that gives a message I am wrong and they have won.  So I simply stayed, to prove the opposite.

 

Also felt quite emotional after all that.  And then I watched a programme called “One Born Every Minute” and that made me very emotional.  Seeing several women becoming Mums for the first time and those emotions and their pain.  But, I’m still fine with the fact that my baby making days will soon be over.  Though I feel like I’m being tested in that area a lot lately.

 

I’m getting hair extensions tomorrow.  Well I bloody better be!  I have been waiting for nearly 3 months!  So that is kind of exciting.

 

I’ve been feeling a bit emotional and frustrated about my weight not shifting much.  As, I had been eating very well, for a whole week and expected a loss of at least 1 kg minimum.  So when I stood on the scales at the end of the week and saw I’d only lost 200gms, I got very upset and packed a bit of a tanty and took it out on everyone that morning.  Did a bit of binge eating and emotional eating on the weekend and yesterday.  And I get very annoyed at myself for knowingly putting this bad food in my mouth and into my body.  I also get frustrated that I really don’t feel like exercising.

 

I met a lovely person through the Anxiety/Depression meet up group, last week.  We chatted via email for about a week before we met.  We have quite a few things in common.  I have really enjoyed hanging out with her and chatting to her.  She’s a very nice person.

 

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed the last 2 days.  I’m not sure if I’d say depressed or not.  Just kind of sick of being on Mum duty all the time.  Wishing I could just have 2 days off, by myself, without these responsibilities.  But don’t see that happening.  It’s just very hard when the older child is giving attitude and looking at you being a little smart-ass and the younger one keeps screaming and screeching, instead of using words.  That noise does drive me pretty crazy.  Having your emotions go on a bit of a rollercoaster doesn’t help.  As I get a bit sensitive and easily upset.

 

I have been doing my very best to socialize as often as possible.  Just to take care of myself and my moods and mental health.  As, like I have most likely mentioned before, if I don’t socialize often enough I go downhill, get depressed and sometimes as a result isolate myself.  So I think I have done ok to have socialized once both days this week.  Though, yesterdays social interaction turned negative due to the incident with my daughter and that crap.  I got to hang out with my neighbour from down my street for a bit.  She’s really cool.  I like hanging out with her.  And this week, I have a few things on, which is nice, as that gives me things to look forward to and that is important.

 

Tomorrow, I am visiting my friend Anastasia in the morning and I get to see her new baby for the first time and Annabelle gets to hang out with her older son, Eddie.  Then I am hanging out with Donna, who used to work with my fiancée when he managed a video store.  I’ve not actually hung out with her before, apart from chatting to her when I bumped into her earlier this year and chatting via text.  She’s a cool chic.  Then tomorrow evening I get the hair extensions.  On Thursday I have my 2nd appointment with my Psychologist.  And on Friday I am visiting my friend Lily.  And next Wednesday, my Mum is in Wellington for 2 days.  She lives in Australia.  So I’m pretty excited about seeing her.  Next week is pretty mundane apart from that.  On Monday I have boring things to do, like take Annabelle for her 2 1/2 year Plunket check and then take Sophie to the Dentist later that day.

 

Wrote in my diary for the first time in like 15 days last night.  Thinking I might write in there again soon.  Also thinking I might go to bed soon.  As I’m attempting to look after myself, by getting enough sleep.

 

I’m sure I had more stuff to write about.  But I’ve forgotten what else.  That’s all for today.