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So recently I have had my oldest daughter staying for part of the school holidays. She stayed for 8 days.

It was really awesome having her here and she had a really good opportunity to really bond and get to know my partner and vice versa.

What I always find interesting and also a tad concerning, is how she does not feel free to express herself, her opinions and just be honest, with her carers. As she always has in the back of her mind when expressing certain things, what they would say or how they would react. She feels quite judged and under pressure with them and she does not feel completely supported by them. I understand they are trying to act in her best interests, but I feel their own upbringing shapes how they perceive things and how they feel she should be. A lot of what they term ‘rude’ and ‘naughty’, is simply my daughter asserting herself and expressing her opinion. I find and she finds, they quite often compare her to how their sons are or were at that age. But to be fair they are males and they are their biological children. Things are very different with the opposite sex and children you are caring for. As a child in you care is most likely not going to have been bought up with the same morals and ideals/values.

My daughter really does find it quite different going from being in a supportive, nuturing and honest enviroment, to quite a structured enviroment with very strict rules and expectations.

I am glad she find her interactions and time with my partner encouraging and supportive.

I would like her with us, but I know that battle would be very hard and stressful and quite likely I feel it may not go in my favour.

With regards to my younger 2 children. I am finding my younger daughter is having issues with my son, her younger brother and she seems to find him quite a nuisance and can tend to pick on him a lot. Which is unfortunate, as he really loves her and just wants to do whatever she is doing. Typical sibling rivalry dynamcs though. I certainly understand it from my own experience with having a younger sister. But it is much harder when it is actually your own children

My younger daughter certainly is quite effected by my oldest daughter, her sister, not being here. And my oldest daughter really misses her too. She was quite tearful and upset when her little sister had to go home from my place after staying the night. She really does miss her.

Oh my goodness, one of our younger rats is running around like a nutter right now. Every now and then she runs across my keyboard and randomly types hehe.

We have had a fair bit of stress lately. Our benefit application took forever to process and we ended up getting nearly a month behind in rent. It was freaking me the hell out and getting me quite anxious and stressed out. Thankfully it all got sorted late last week.

I find I am getting a lot of interest in my business, but my lack of stock does hold me back a lot. I wish I could just get an investment or loan, so I can start operating it. I know it’s a worth while project/investment and it has great potential for success. It is just a matter of the start up costs.

Oh gosh, was starting to feel quite tired…then I looked at the time. Not surprising, it is 1:11am. I guess I should get some sleep.

Thankx for reading and following.

https://givealittle.co.nz/cause/businessescadachic

That is the page I have created to fund raise for my business.

As I went to the bank about a business loan and they said I would not be able to apply for 6 months. As I need to be audit-able and have incoming and outgoing into a business account to show my earnings, spending and all of that.

I did not realize that it was not as simple as applying for a business loan. And the fact I can not afford to put money into getting stock is really stopping me from operating to my full potential.

So any support would be greatly appreciated, even if it is just passing on my link for this fundraising page. It all helps.

Thank you for reading and supporting me.

March 2017

So it’s been a while since I blogged last.

Not helped by the fact I took my laptop in for repair and am still awaiting a replacement. So I’ve been going between my cellphone and tablet. And to be fair, a lot of the time my 7 year old is using my tablet.

It’s been a couple of months since I last posted. So we are now living in the new flat and have all that we need furniture wise. Thanks to Pay it Forward FB group and my Mum.

I’m quite liking our new location. As it’s walking distance to town, as well as being close to the river and nature. The location also helped inspire me to a name for my business. Though it’s not a fully functional business.

I finally got the business plan completed yesterday. Which has taken a while. As I have put it off a lot. Usually due to anxiety over the extent of how thoroughly I have to fill it out and also having other stresses present.

I had the round table meeting regarding my oldest daughter last month and that went surprisingly well. Having a family lawyer who I’ve been working with has definitely helped a lot.

I wanted to have unsupervised overnight stays with my oldest daughter and that was something I was unwilling to back down on. As well as having her a minimum of 4 days in school holidays.

The social work report, which I still have not seen, definitely helped. As it said there was no reason why overnight stays should not be appropriate.

So all the things I was hoping for results wise from the round table meeting came to fruition.

So I get to have my oldest daughter most school holidays for 5 days plus and have her stay with me. Which is great.

My partner has a full time job working 6 days a week and pretty long hours. So I have a lot of spare time. I must say, I miss him when he goes to work and I always look forward to when he comes home.

I’ve been doing pretty good with buying and selling iPhones.

I’m hanging out for when I can hopefully get a small business loan and actually buy stock so I can do my job properly. As not having stock really holds back the potential for customers and new business. As if anyone wants repairs, I have to suggest they buy the part and then I can install at a small cost once their part arrives. It would be losing me a lot of potential business not having stock. As I often have to refer people on to my competitors.

In another area. I just want to say, I feel privileged and blessed to have such an amazing partner. He’s supportive, considerate, understanding, attractive, intelligent, hot as hell and just awesome. I’m really lucky to have such a great guy. And I often find myself looking at him in admiration or also just straight perving at him as well 😜. He’s just perfect for me and I’m really so happy I have him. Love him so much 💕💖💘

Love our lil rats as well. They are so interesting and entertaining.

We’ve been having foreigners staying a lot. As we decided to sign up as hosts on Airbnb. Which has been pretty cool. As we get to meet many different people from different parts of the world. It’s really quite awesome have this opportunity to meet so many new people from around the world. As I am not well travelled myself.

I bought an eMac recently from the Recycle Centre auctions. It is older technology, but still very cool.

The recycle centre has been quite fruitful lately.

We’ve been getting things together so we can start home brewing. Just waiting on some essentials to make our first batch.

Better think about sleeping soon I think.

Thankx for reading.

Since looking into conceiving after having a tubal ligation, I have discovered IVF is the best way to Try to Conceive again.  Rather then going through a tubal ligation reversal.

So, as we are in no position to come up with that money for a very long time, I created a Give a Little page to help fundraise.

If anyone has any ideas on how I could further promote that page, feel free to comment.

My Give a Little Page

Eminem – Beautiful