That pretty much sums up how I am feeling in many aspects of life presently.

I’ve just been crying for the past 20 minutes or so.

I just reach my limit at times and have trouble maintaining feeling/being strong. Currently I have reached that limit and do not feel so strong right now.

Clearly I am a bit stressed, as I have a cold sore forming and that only happens when I am under more stress.

I feel like my fiancé is not being very observant and is failing to notice I am struggling.

I do not like how at times I feel like I am doing most of the parenting, while he is spending maximum time on the computer. I hate feeling like I am parenting alone on some days.

My older sister is going through some pretty big stuff in her personal life and I am trying my best to be sensitive of that, while trying to organize moving to Nelson to her upstairs flat. I feel like, it’s OK for her to ask me questions about the move, yet when I ask a few questions, she bites my head off about it. And I get accused of being insensitive and lacking empathy. Where in fact, I am being sensitive and empathic and trying to organize things without bothering her. It is really unfair how when takes her crap out on her family.

Having her snap at me yesterday about asking a few questions really upset me. And as a result I became quite upset and felt like yelling at my fiancé for not putting a lid on correctly. But I realized that is unfair and irrational, so didn’t react.

Moving to another island isn’t as simple a task as moving within the same city, like we did when we moved here. And in already feel like all the organizing again falls on me.

My fiancé just doesn’t seem to understand how unfair this is on me.

Gah! Kind of wish I could have a few days off from my every day life and spend a few days in respite.

I really hate the place of limbo between waiting for moving date, til moving date comes. As that’s a good 8-9 weeks away still. I just want it over and done with already.

Though with my sister and her moods, I am nervous about shifting into her upstairs flat.

Oh, didn’t have much luck with getting to sleep without my medication the other night, despite being tired. 3 hours later and zero sleep, I ended up having to take my medication to get to sleep. I just feel disappointed when this happens. As I hate that I do not seem to have the ability to fall asleep unaided these days.

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