Things that I am currently frustrated about are, the fact my fiance’s default setting seems to be going on his computer, whether that be just being on his computer or gaming online. It frustrates me how much time he devotes to it and how high on his priorities it is.

Yes it might be he default coping mechanism. But it is certainly not a healthy coping mechanism. I know it’s a coping mechanism for the following reasons. He gets stressed, he goes on the computer, he gets anxious, he goes on the computer, he’s angry, he goes on the computer, he’s anti-social, he goes on the computer and he’s been this way for years.

I find it extremely hard to deal with this and also the fact he doesn’t express his emotions. It annoys me to no end, that he’ll put the baby to bed and his first priority is to get straight back on the computer.

I feel he isn’t as involved as a parent and father due to this. And I feel he takes his frustrations out on the kids. As if he’s tired, he’ll get grumpy at the baby and this tiredness is due to how late he stays up on his computer. I feel he gets intolerant of our toddler because of his computer addiction.

I often feel increasingly frustrated and unsupported due to this behaviour and definitely contemplate at times leaving him.

Another thing that is frustrating me at the moment is his parents and their excuses and immaturity. As I found out yesterday, from the Open Home Foundation lady who works with us, that they are pretty much sulking about us moving to Nelson at some point and that is why they have gone back on their offers of support at the FGC(family group conference) in mid-December. Their attitude and excuse is, why bother increasing our involvement with the grand kids and building a relationship there if they’re going to be leaving Wellington at some point.

That seems very petty and immature in my opinion. And not what being a parent is about.

I have simply decided recently, that I will no longer expect anything from them as his parents or from the rest of my fiance’s family. As if you have no expectations, then you can’t be letdown or disappointed or upset or effected by the lack of action or involvement.

That’s all I have to say about that.