That it certainly can!

At times it is getting to me this week. But I’m trying to practice the DBT(dialectical behavioural therapy) technique of ‘radical acceptance’ and sit with my emotions and unpleasant feelings.

I started the 6 week DBT ‘distress tolerance’ course this week. It was good meeting the others in the group and starting to touch on some DBT techniques. I’m looking forward to the next 5 weeks.

I have been feeling close to tears last night and today. Things like the fact our food grant entitlement through WINZ(work and income) has now been all used. So we have no option there on the week we don’t have enough to cover food and petrol. So I’m feeling worried about that.

My fiancés parents think even worse of me then I was aware. They called him this afternoon and were bitching about me wanting to move to Nelson at some point. It’s not just me wanting that, it’s my fiancé as well. And they said they want to talk to him privately about it.

We both feel what they will be wanting to talk to him about is our relationship and they will be trying to talk him into leaving me and staying in Wellington and pretty much them bad mouthing me.

I feel this shows that they clearly don’t respect him and certainly don’t respect our relationship.

My fiancé was telling me that his mother bad mouths me a lot and says very vindictive and nasty things about me. But he doesn’t repeat those things to me, as he knows how much it would hurt and upset me.

Fact is, I have felt like nearly all my partner’s parents have disliked me. So it really does hurt hearing all this.

The CYFS(child, youth and family) social worker did one of those unannounced visits that CYFS do, earlier this week.

I told her(the social worker) of my intentions regarding my children and how I want to have time unsupervised with my youngest 2 kids and that I want my oldest girl back full time. I think she was shocked to hear that. And she made it clear she doesn’t support my desire to be with the kids unsupervised. But I told her that is my goal and that is what I will be working towards. Also, I will get professionals behind me, to support me and advocate for this. As I know how much weight professionals carry and that CYFS pay a lot of attention to their opinions and recommendations.

So that’s where things are at presently. I will do all I can to remain strong.