Well, I’ve been meaning to write a blog post for probably a few days now. But I simply have not had the energy to actually find a few minutes to write a post. Couldn’t even find the motivation to post via my mobile, which actually makes it easier with predictable text.

Right, so I will start with pregnancy related things. Had midwife appointment yesterday. All is good with baby. Baby is 4/5th engaged. ROA. My BP(blood pressure) is 130/88. Babies HR(heart rate) is 136bpm(beats per minute). And baby is normal size for gestation. To explain some of that for people who aren’t aware of what some of that means. ROA is babies position. So what ROA means is, baby is head down with his back facing the right side of my tummy. It’s a good position to be in. There are several positions a baby can be in, OA is the best position, which is babies back facing your belly button for example. OP or anything with OP at the end is not so great. So, the R or L stands for right or left. O stands for Occiput. P is for Posterior, which is babies back facing your back. And then you have Transverse, which is baby laying across way, so babies bottom faces your left side and head faces you right side for example. And then you have breech, which is baby facing bottom down and head up. Regarding engaged, 4/5th is nearly fully engaged. So 5/5th is fully engaged. It’s the amount the babies head is descended into the pelvis. 1st babies generally engage a few weeks before they are due, but not all babies. 2nd and subsequent babies can wait til you are in actual labour to engage. For example, my 2nd didn’t engage at all til I was in established labour. And my 1st, she never fully engaged, only got to 3/5th engaged and that was due to her being posterior, making it harder for her to drop into pelvis, like she should have. So I was surprised that this baby boy has decided to become engaged and that much engaged. Though it explains why walking is really uncomfortable!

A bit of history for anyone interested, on my previous 2. Sophie, my 1st, I had when I was 24 and I was a solo parent to her. She was 3/5th engaged from 36 weeks. She was 11 days late, I was fully induced, as in, gel, waters artificially ruptured and I was give oxytocin via drip. I ended up having an epidural, as induced labour is really painful compared to natural labour and she was posterior, making for a painful labour. I tried pushing for who knows how long, but she was only moving down and then back up. So I ended up having a forceps delivery. Established labour was 26 hours. I was a very angry person during labour, swearing at everyone and when I got to what is called Transition, which is generally the point where women go, nope, not doing this anymore, I got the shakes, sweats and was throwing up a lot. So yeah, wasn’t in a hurry to do that again. Annabelle, my 2nd, I had when I was 30, and she was only 2 days late. I had the ‘show’ 9 days before I had her. The ‘show’ is the mucous plug that keeps entrance of the cervix blocked during pregnancy. My waters broke 6:30am in the morning and I started having contractions around 10am and by 2pm they were 10 minutes apart. I saw midwife at 1pm and she was sure I wouldn’t be having baby til the next day. Well, I left that consult at 2:30pm and by 3:30pm contractions were 5 minutes apart. So headed to hospital at 4pm and had baby at 5:42pm, in the birthing pool, with no pain relief. Established labour was 1 hour 42 minutes with my 2nd.

With this pregnancy I have had my fair share of complications. With my 1st, I had a very cruisy pregnancy, but a difficult labour. With my 2nd, pregnancy consisted of being tired all the time and being a little bit ill in the first 3 months. But labour was pretty good. With this one, I had HG(Hyperemisis Gravidum), which is severe nausea and vomiting til about 17 weeks and I have cervical prolapse, which is where the cervix is not being held up where it should be by the muscles, so it will sit down lower in the cervix and sometimes even come out a bit, down below. And I have also had a few bleeds as well. I think I’ve visited the hospital about 5 times due to all this. Also, I have been feeling increasingly like I could go into to labour at any time, on a daily basis for the last 2 weeks. And I keep getting paranoid about my waters breaking in public. And then there’s my mental health, that’s had lots of ups and downs.

Anyway, I am 37 weeks tomorrow. So it’s safe for baby to come any time after that. And I’m happy if he comes earlier, rather then in another 3 weeks time.

We had been having major issues with the new car we brought. Which is an auto, meaning my fiance can drive it. Previous car was a manual and with my big bump and short legs, it was getting very difficult to drive. So we brought a new car and about an hour after getting it home, it wouldn’t start! Thinking it was the battery, we got car dealer to put a new one in. But, no, later that day, again the car wouldn’t start. So they gave us our old car to drive, while the new car got looked at. But I wasn’t happy with driving the old car, as it was no longer insured. So they ended up giving us a loan car. But, after driving it around for 1/2 a day, I discovered registration was due to expire in a few days and then discovered the car had no Warrant of Fitness. I told them I was not happy and could they sort this. So they again gave the old car back, which still, was not insured and took the loan car. So I ended up insuring the old car and was left paying 2 insurance premiums due to this. And of course, I kept stressing that I’d go into labour while we still had the old car and my fiance wouldn’t be able to get us to hospital. I was getting increasingly frustrated with the car dealer. As 2 weeks after buying this car, we still didn’t have it and it wasn’t fixed. In fact, it spent a whole week sitting in their car yard, when it was supposed to be getting diagnosed and fixed! I was so distracted by this stress, at a roundabout, where I am always obeying the road rules and paying attention, I failed to look to my right and almost hit a motorcycle. Which is for 1. just not good in general and 2. My Dad died at an intersection, on his motorbike, though he was hit by a truck. So I had a bit of a panic attack and bawled my eyes out for the next 20 minutes. Anyway, I called car dealer and told them how much stress they were causing us and how their treatment of us and the whole situation was not on and that we really wished we had never brought from them. Got no response to that voice mail, so I rung later and talked to the person who sold us the car and eventually, success and it was actually taken to a proper mechanic and was fixed 2 days later and yay, we now have a fully functioning car. It was a thing called the Cam Follower. Which is responsible for creating the spark, from the spark plugs. So, therefore, no spark being created, meant no starting of car.

So there have been points during the last month where I have been really stressed and just so over everything. But I am good to myself and I cry when I need to. Even if that means I’m crying a lot. Better then keeping it in.

Out of sheer boredom I have been doing the housework. Which for me, is big, as I hate housework. So yeah, getting pretty bored aye.

Finally my fiance and I have at least agreed on 2 name options for baby. I’ll let you know what his name is once he arrives. As, sometimes you like one name and then see baby and they just don’t suit it. So no point locking in a name just yet.

My baby bump is pretty big. I was measuring 119cms around a week ago. I will upload a picture from last week to this post.

I have a lady who comes to see me from Community Mental Health, as I need her, since I am unable to go into their office. I found it interesting that she thinks I have been coping pretty well. Like I said to her, “well you haven’t seen me when I am not coping to be fair”. But it was nice to hear that anyway.

I have seen my friend who lives about 10 minutes away, a few times in the last few weeks, which is great. As I had not seen her for ages previously.

Watched a couple of dvds on the weekend. ‘Oz – the Great and Powerful’ and ‘Side Effects’. I found ‘Side Effects’ really quite good.

I had something quite upset me the other day. My fiances family I must say, are not very supportive. Which I can guarantee I have mentioned in previous posts. Anyway, my fiances younger brother is expecting #2 with his girlfriend. And I see a Facebook post by my fiances mother, boosting about how they excited to announce that they are expecting another grandchild, from their son and his girlfriend. Anyway, why this is upsetting to me is, they never made any such mention regarding this pregnancy and possibly not even my pregnancy with #2(my 1st with my fiance) So I felt really angry and upset about this and was bawling my eyes out telling my fiance how upset I was about this. It bothers me, as I feel they are more then happy to offer support and buy stuff for his brother(my fiance’s brother) and his girlfriend and their babies and both of them work full time and do not lack money wise. Whereas, when I was pregnant with #2 and neither myself or my fiance were working, no offers of support or help and same this time. Except this time my fiance is working, but we are only a very low income. And we could really do with some support, as we could benefit from some time alone as a couple. But yeah, we’re kind of use to the fact his parents play favourites with their kids and grandkids. So we don’t expect crap from them.

My parents are really good and do their best to support us, all the way from Australia. My Mum is even coming over in August to see us. And Sophie’s grandparents on her Dad’s side, they are really great. They even take her away in school holidays if they can and have her for some of the day or overnight every couple of weekends.

It’s just hard, when you tell people you are struggling and could do with more support and they just ignore you. Even though they, who have known their own suffering at times, due to mental illness. You would think, being they have been in that place too, they’d want to be supportive, now they have it all sorted. But no. I am rather used to feeling failed and rejected by them.

I guess, it would be nice to live in an ideal world, where you get the support you need, from the people who you feel should give it you. But that’s not reality.

Anyway, enough about that. Here’s my latest bump picture.

At 36 weeks.

36 wks 001