Despair

Anger

The reasons, I wish not to explain.

Upset over a situation. Angry over many things.

Though, I pretty much feel like, why. Why do I have to go through this?

I do not deserve this. I have done nothing to ‘ask’ for this.

All I try to do is be kind, compassionate, supportive, understanding and try to find ways to be encouraging.

I am mad at myself for not listening to my intuition regarding a choice made some time ago.

I feel I am being made to feel like I am to blame for somethings I feel, in all fairness I am not.

My intentions were good. I think they were not of course interpreted this way.

I get it, us humans are flawed, we are not perfect. We make mistakes, we fuck up. Mistakes are there to help us learn and hopefully not repeat those same mistakes over and over.

I told my fiance, how I am feeling so angry and upset. He pretty much said it’s not his problem, so why does he have to listen to it.

Yeah, as you can imagine, that didn’t go down so well!

I was like, well shit, lucky I’m not the suicidal type or that insensitivity and lack of care, compassion or concern would’ve pushed me over the edge. Saying this, while angry, but distraught, with tears streaming down my face.

Thinking, how could he say such a thing? How could he just not care? That, that really hurt, more then anything else.

All I wanted was for him to listen and maybe offer me some advice or his perspective. But he wasn’t interested in doing either.

I feel I am pretty honest. But I feel, where is that honesty getting me? As it seems like it’s not always getting me a positive result.

And it’s not like I’m brutally honest or insensitive with my honesty. I am very careful what I say and make every effort to not say anything that could be hurtful or insensitive. I always try to consider others feelings before I say my piece.

Yeah, sometimes I think not so nice things. But I have a filter and don’t let these negative things come out of my mouth. As they do not benefit anyone.

I will now, go on with my night.

That is all off my chest now, so hopefully it helps.

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