So. All this time, since July, after the women rang to book my appointment for what she said was my Tubal Ligation, I have been under the impression that today was the day of the operation.

I had been thinking it a little strange that I had been given no pre-assessment appointment. But figured, well, that lady said my appointment was for the procedure. So I just thought, hmm, that is kind of weird, no before appointment.

Anyway. I have been thinking for several months, today is the day. And as you’d expect, feeling a mix of emotions and some anxiety leading up to the day. So I was discussing with a friend of mine, who is a nurse at public hospitals, today’s appointment and she asked a few questions, like have I had a pre-assessment and I was like no and she was like, hmm, that’s a bit strange and asked what does the letter say the appointment is for. To which I replied, it doesn’t really say what it is for, just who it is with. She asked, have you had any information about preparation leading up to procedure and I was like, no. So she said, well I think unfortunately, that doesn’t sound like it’s an appointment for surgery.

So last night while talking to her, I was getting more and more annoyed and upset, coming to this realization. All this stress, anxiety and emotional upheaval, with what I thought was my upcoming procedure. For nothing!

So she suggested ringing up hospital this morning and asking what the appointment is actually for. Which I did and it was actually just a consultation with the Gynecologist to talk about the procedure and approve it.

So went to the appointment, had the chat about it all and asked how long til the actual operation then. Expecting her to maybe say a few weeks. Nope! 4-6 months!!!

Oh how pissed off I was to hear this. Especially after my initial misinformation about the reason for today’s appointment and the annoyance/frustration and upset last night.

Well, at least I was no longer anxious.

So once I left the hospital I just sat in my car and cried, cried, cried. Over the whole disappoint of it all and going through all these emotions way too soon.

But I guess, at least I have dealt with the emotions and all I have to worry about now is chilling before I get the operation. Whenever the hell that is.

I’m just annoyed about having to stay on the contraception. As if I had other non-hormonal contraception options I’d take them, but I don’t. And how the Jadelle causes my periods to be all over the place. Firstly I’d get it every 3 weeks. Then after some time, every 10 days and then that got sorted and 2 cycles were the normal 4 weeks. Then, I got my last period for 7 days and 4 days later, it came back. So 2 bouts of PMS and associated moodiness in less then 3 weeks.

And last week, I was diagnosed as having Severe Depression. But thankfully, talking all the crap out with the doctor and the Vitamin D he gave me has helped.

I’m just hoping I can manage my moods and PMS with Vitamin D and good diet. But I can’t do anything about my fucked up menstrual cycle. Which is not good for my mood or sex life! Which by the way, I am trying to improve and was thinking, with no contraception, all that would improve. But now that option is out.

I was looking forward to some weight loss, due to no more Jadelle and getting back my sex drive and having more stable moods.

It is frustrating trying to find natural supplements to improve at least some of this. And I have got some ‘items’ from the Adult Toy Mega Store, to help with the libido. But yes, can’t use them, due to having my friggen period again! Grr! Well at least I got sex once within those 4 days before it came back.

So yeah, been a bit annoyed today. But cheered myself up a tad by buying a nice secondhand scooter for my 2 1/2 year old for only $3.

My damn dishes are mounting up cause I have been ignoring them for 3 or 4 days. So not in the mood to change that.

That is all.