Yeah, because I ain’t going to vent on forums, in case the person I am venting about realizes I’m venting about them. And I know they aren’t aware of my blog, so I’m safe.

Ha fuck’n ha bitch! Giving me shit about obsessing with the scale and being below my calorie goal in the past. Yeah misses likes to throw shit at me, when it’s probably true about yourself and so never true about me. Under your calorie goal a few times this week I see. Now that your weight is moving downwards again. I think, what you were saying about me, is actually possibly true about you!

Thing is, I mostly don’t mind you. But you can be rather opinionated and rather insulting and you can be like a dog with a bone in regards to your opinions, even if they be wrong. You just don’t know when to shut up and back down!

So yeah, for those of you who have read most recent posts of mine on here. I am still not happy about those accusations thrown at me a few weeks ago. Saying stuff like, I am heading towards an eating disorder, I am obsessed with the scales and the number on them and that I’m proud of being rather below my calorie goal. I defended myself and let those concerned know, I see their concern and I get their worry, but none of those things are true and I am sensible. So yeah, kind of not impressed when people say shit about me and then, from my observations, it seems it’s indirectly about them, though I’m suspecting they don’t realize this. And that I’m pretty much being told, I made myself get so sick, because of my low calorie intake. It’s called, it’s winter, and shit happens. It was not due to my choices.

To set the record straight. I do not like being way under my calorie goal. And yeah, like most who are on the weight loss journey, I do like seeing the number drop. But I am about being healthy and slowly losing, not fast, drastic drops. Also, I know what an eating disorder looks like, as I was Bulimic when I was 20, for 2 yrs. But that was only due to an emotionally abusive boyfriend who kept telling me I was fat, when I really wasn’t and me hearing it for so long, I believed it and therefore developed the Bulimia. I also know what an unhealthy weight looks like, even if my BMI is still saying that weight is ‘healthy’. So I am always going to be sensible about my weight loss and I certainly know when I have lost enough weight and I am very much about being healthy and staying healthy and most importantly looking healthy. You will never catch me at size 7 or below or trying to look like Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes or Nicole Richie. Ick!!! Back to the calorie goal. I was just getting lost as to what to eat, with enough calories, that way still healthy and I was always trying to find some way to add calories. As I do understand the importance of being within a healthy calorie consumption and it’s effect on my metabolism, weight loss and thyroid problem. So I would never intentionally put my health in jeopardy. On the scale matter. I’m lucky if I get around to weighing myself once a week. So I’ll only weigh myself twice, if I feel I have had a loss, just to check. But I do not get worried about the number. As I am healthy, BMI wise. I feel good in my clothes, so I have no reason to obsess. Cause seriously, if I was that obsessed with my weight and weight loss, I wouldn’t eat pizza for dinner or a pie for lunch. As I’d be all obsessed with consuming that and need to purge. And urgh, so not into that! I can have ‘naughty’ foods, because I eat healthy so often. It’s a balancing act. Which stops me from binging. So, if I am rewarding myself with the odd treat, I’m happy.

Oh, I did Zumba last night and it was really fun! I was like, damn, why do I get so lazy and not do it more?! As it was fun! I think it was because, when I had a few more kgs on, I found it rather exhausting, so that put me off. And plus, I am a little less unco now and that was one barrier I had in the past.

Oh, now back to some better stuff. I’m still pretty consistently happy. Except for my current PMS. But damn, that flu and stuff really knocked me! It was so draining in so many ways! I’ll be happy when my Bronchitis pisses off completely. And yeah, I am naughty and stopped taking my anti-d’s a few weeks ago. I am feeling fine. But if I feel myself going downwards too much, I’ll go back to the doctor. I’m just really happy with so many aspects of my life. Things are still tight money wise, but getting better. I have great people in my life, online and off. And I get so much out of being there for people and being trusted with their pain and burdens. I like being able to be there for people like that. As it’s been invaluable having people do the same for me. So it’s my turn to give back. I feel really good about myself as a person. And I feel I am of much value to the people in my life. And I am SO proud to be the person I am. I can say, despite any crap in my past, I’m just ‘cool’ with me. And that is a BIG thing! As I used to be so the opposite. I really appreciate the PND and depression strangely enough. It’s made me stronger and it’s made me grow and mature in a good way. I do believe, all things happen for a reason, no matter how bad.

And here’s a shout out to my fav people who follow my blog.

I THINK YOU ARE ALL INVALUABLE AND SUPERB PEOPLE. I AM PROUD TO KNOW YOU ALL. I FEEL YOU ARE OF SO MUCH VALUE TO THE WORLD AND THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE ALL SUCH NICE, SWEET, GENUINE PEOPLE. I AM VERY SELECTIVE. SO THE FACT I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE, SAYS YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE OUT THERE! Hold on to this when things get hard. As it’s all true!

Oh, I HAD to add this poem. My Mum once gave me a bookmark with this poem, when I was a very unhappy, depressed teenager. It was invaluable and really helped me.

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