But I haven’t posted for a little bit, so I thought I would.

Sophie has some good days and some really naughty days.  But my memory is such a blur, if you asked me why she is grounded, which usually is for a damn good reason, I can’t remember why.  All I do know, is she can be very rude and defiant.

I wish my memory wasn’t such a blur.

Counselling is going well.  I think I have about 3 or 4 sessions left.  Not sure if I’ll need more right now.  But they are helping.

Braiden was being a dick last night, as I’d gone and visited me friend, with Sophie and left him at home with Annabelle.  He was texting me while I was there, once I texted, due to him not texting yet.  Which was fine.  But then he’s like, ‘when are you coming home?’ and getting annoyed I’d been away for so long and even got Annabelle on the phone, when he rung me, saying “mum, mum, mum” and using this to try guilt trip me into coming home.  Eventually he sent a few pissed off texts and then refused to reply to me, or answer the home phone or his mobile and was still sulking when I got home for like nearly an hour and wasn’t talking to anyone who tried to talk to him, not even our friend, her son or anyone, except Annabelle.

So I was rather upset by him doing this.  I tried to talk to him, said my piece and then just said “fuck it, I don’t need this shit!” and went upstairs.  Had a cry, felt like utter crap and decided to take either 5 or 6 anti-depressants.  I’d had my 1 1/2 for the day in the morning, 15mgs, so in total yesterday, I’d had about 65mgs or so.  And I didn’t care about the consequences at the time.  Thankfully though, all it did was make me feel a little spaced out and then rather calm and at ease.  Thank goodness I didn’t take 10 tablets, like I was considering.  I also really wanted to self harm, but was too tired to get off my arse and do anything about it.

I’m ok today, just been really tired all day.

I’d like some more genuine friends in real life.  I like though, the support I have online from others with PND, that really helps.

I really enjoying seeing other people aye.  But this coming week, I’m ok with having a day or two with nothing on.  As I’m so tired, I just want to rest and sleep.

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