Finally, I can sit here and say, that today has been a good day!

I may have had the odd grumpy moment, but that hasn’t fazed me.

I get to see my parents tomorrow, who live in Australia.  They’re in Wellington for the day.  I do really miss them.  I am so glad to be seeing them tomorrow.  I just wish it could’ve been for longer.

Went to my counsellor for the 2nd time today.  That was really good.  Didn’t feel as anxious this time.  Felt a lot more at ease and comfortable.  Talked over a good few things that are bothering me.

Finally I think I see a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel I’ve been trapped in for nearly a year!  Hope is in sight.  The way I’ve been feeling for nearly a year, I was starting to think I’d never get over this period of depression.  That I was just permanently stuck with it and it would be my life from then on.  It’s a pleasant, yet weird sensation feeling some joy and happiness.  So not used to it.

I’m slightly clucky.  But no, I’m not going to go about doing anything about that.  I think it’s just due to some mums from my due date forum being pregnant and having a few friends and family who are expecting.  I’ll just borrow their babies once they arrive.  That should keep the cluckiness at bay.  And simply, the fear of doing it all again one day, is scary.  Just due to this really bad PND that I have suffered for so long.  I’m just so damn scared it would happen again and worse.  But now I know what to do differently.

I think if we ever got our financial situation sorted, that too would lift a HUGE weight of our shoulders and that would help alleviate a lot of stress.

I sent my older sister an email last week, in response to the email she sent, which I posted on here.  I thought I’d been quite honest, yet considerate with my response, but it seems I hurt her feelings.  So it appears I’m wrong about her being insensitive.  Apparently she is sensitive too.  I guess it’s just that it manifests differently in her, so I wouldn’t have recognized it.  And gee, shit, who’d have known that something I could say would actually get to her so much.  I wasn’t meaning to attack her, that was not my intention, yet she felt attacked.  I just thought she was quite confident and sure of herself and didn’t think she could/would be effected by anything I said.

I am coping better with Sophie these days, even if she does still have some misbehaviour and Annabelle is awesome, but cheeky!  She knowingly does stuff while she knows she’s not supposed to and gets rather amused by that fact.  She’s so cute!  Such a darling little girl!  So is Sophie.  Sophie’s a little darling.  And I’m really happy she has a new friend in our neighborhood.  It’s good to see her enjoying another child’s company and vice versa.

…..even if they do go about making her room look like a bomb site!

I have really been enjoying my new medicine.  Which is laughter.  It’s free and natural and awesome!  I’ve been watching a bit of comedy lately and it’s been doing me a world of good, just relaxing and laughing out loud.  I think I should keep comedy/humour in my life.  It’s so good for me.

Ok, it’s now 2 mins past midnight and I have to be up by 7:30am.  So I best get to bed.